your in this place

--I'm finding myself at a loss for words and the funny thing is its ok. The last thing I need is to be heard, but to hear what You would say. Word of God speak, would You pour down like rain, washing my eyes to see Your majesty. Please let me stay and  rest in Your holiness, Word of God speak. I'm finding myself, in the midst of You beyond the music, beyond the noise. All that I need is to be with You and in the quiet hear Your voice. Word of God speak would You pour down like rain, washing my eyes to see Your majesty. To be still and know that your in this place please let me stay and rest in Your holiness, word of God speak would You pour down like rain, washing my eyes to see Your majesty. To be still and know Your in this place, please let me stay and rest in Your holiness. I'm finding myself at a loss for words and the funny thing its ok.--

suddenly, as she sipped and nodded, she realized she was captivated by him

ok so incase you wanted to know, or were considering seeing The Grudge...unless you dont ever EVER get scared at anything...you dont want to go see it. its horribly frightening. pinky swear.

ok so i got the cutest scarf at....yes the silliest store ever...the Limted Too! haha...i'm a nerd, no it was because Hannah wanted to chill in there and i found it and was like AHHH...its hot. and it was 9 bucks. try that on for size at Express my friends...you wont get it.

i had much more to say but i got sidetracked...and now that the object of my distraction is now diminished...i have forgotten my purpose in writing this entry.

i remember part but that part was about being angry and i really just dont evern care enough about it to make the effort of typing it. its stupid and i knew it would happen anyways.

--Desperate for changing, starving for truth, closer than where i started, i'm chasing after you, i'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all i've held on to, i'm standing here until you make me move, i'm hanging by a moment here with you.--

pizza and a movie

have you ever talked to someone and felt like you'd known them forever? like, you could talk to them for hours and hours and never run out of things to say? yeah, so have i.

 

--I'll be your cloud up in the sky, i'll be your shoulder when you cry, i'll be your mountain way up high, when all hope is gone to fear, no matter how far oyu are i'm near, it makes no difference who you are, i'll be your angel.--

To be great is to be misunderstood.

The title quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson.  i never realized what a cool guy he is.

another quote by him i like is:

     "A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages."

basically..he's saying man should rely on his own thoughts and trust his own judgement. he says that man should rely and dig deeper into his own thoughts and not feel inferior to the great minds of people like Plato or Aristotle;  other famous philosophers, because they are no smarter or less significant than we, they just spoke their minds, even when what they believed contradicted modern beliefs...and for that--you have to give them credit. someone who will defend what they believe to the death. its admirable and i hope that if a situation arises like that for me, that i'll have courage and stand up for what i know in my heart.

this was pretty significant for me...due to recent occurances. we talked about murder in bible study today, it was a really interesting study. it put way more out there than "murdering is wrong" this passage had special significance to me.

Romans 12:17-21

.:Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, "I will take vengeance, I will repay those who deserve it," says the Lord. Instead, do what the Scriptures say: -If your enemies are hungry, feed them, if they are thirsty, give them something to drink, and they will be ashamed of what they have done to you. Dont let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good-:.

i feel like this is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding, things we can do.  In the Lord's Prayer, it says: "...And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..."

its never easy to turn the other cheek when you feel you've been wronged, and no one can change their entire personality over-night. its a process....a slow,  meticulous, grueling process meaning we have to watch ourselves every moment of our waking hours, being sure to try and do what is right even when we dont want ot or even worse, feel like we shouldnt need to. Handing things over to God to deal with seems so simple, yet its so hard. I know for me, i always want to do it myself, i'm INDEPENDENT and when i try to fix things myself, basically i'm telling God, "Yeah, i know you created the Heavens, me, all of creation as i and every other being knows it, but really God, i think i have this under control. Why dont you just sit down and let the big dogs take care of this one ok? i dont want you getting hurt or screwing things up." thats the dumbest thing you could ever do. God can ONLY help lighten our burdens, give us strength, courage, and self control when we need it most and trying to be Superwoman is an insult and completely ignorant of me; of anyone.  He doesnt create unnecesary mess for us, He loves, supports, and cherishes us like His children, which we infact are. We need to be cared for, we NEED protection, we need God and the sooner we realize AND accept his graces, life will be so much easier.

to quote my lovely friend Elizabeth Anne Leavitt:

--Life would be so much simpler if we all just learned to pray.--

may it be the sweetest sound, Lord this heart is reaching for you now

This weekend has opened up places in my heart i didnt even realize i had shut down. I've realized something thats so incredible and elementary. something that will mkae living my life so much more joyful...the only problem is that its somehting i'll have to work on every minute of everyday and if that means i'll be happir, then i'm going to give it my best shot.

what i learned is this: you cant ever be free in life if you dont let go of all the garbage filling it up. you cant live a full and happy existence without saying hey...i dont really need to carry this around with me anymore. all it does is weigh me down and thats not what will lead me to my happiness. you ned to be honest with yourself and evaluate your life. you cant let what people say about you get to you. this i have learned through 16 years of personal and painful experience. i'm a horrible example for ignoring what people think, because if someone gives me even a dirty look or doesnt return a smile i wonder what i did to make them angry. i hate not being liked. i hate being made fun of, being ostracized, being left out. i HATE the feeling of seeing someone and knowing that your day could be ruined by them. but theres beauty in that same instance. you can choose how to respond. you can let it hurt you and let it kill a piece of your heart. you can choose that. or, you can choose to take away that power from them. you can DECIDE your future. We have such and amazing Lord. God gives us FREEDOM. freedom to choose. we can choose to HATE God, we can CHOOSE to fall madly in love with Him also. God gave us free will, and its such an amazing thing. God created us to be a free people, to be happy, ecstatic, joyful people. His love for you and for me exceeds anything any human could even being to reciprocate, but we can try. Love, live...choose your happiness.

--As we come today, we remind ourselves of what we do. That these songs are not just songs but sign of love for you. This is a HOLY moment now, something of heaven touches earth, voices of angels all resound we join their song. Come, Come, Come, let us worship God with our .:hands held high:. and our *hearts bowed down*, we will run, run, run, to your gates oh God, with a SHOUT of love.--

where to begin?

dont you love those moments when you just feel?

beautiful

important

happy

strong?

i've lost everything else i wanted to say...dont feel anything but those things ok? you're beautifully made.

Praise the Lord on high

i dont know if its because of sheer good luck, or my attampts at bettering myself and trying to be closer to my God, but things are going SO well for me. even things that i had long given up on...i have HOPE for the future. i have a reason to smile a HUGE smile everyday.

how awesome is that? that i can be happy and dwell on a sliver of something beautiful.

 

--I will praise my LORD and my God with a passion foreign to all other elements of my being.--

how?

I could hardly believe it
When I heard the news today
I had to come and get it straight from you
They said you were leavin'
Someone swept you heart away
From the look upon your face I see it's true
So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin'
Then tell me one thing more before I go

Tell me how am I supposed to live without you
Now that I've been lovin' you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
How am I supposed to carry on
When all that I've been livin' for is gone

I didn't come here for cryin'
Didn't come here to breakdown
It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end
An how can I blame you
When I built my world around
The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming
When even now it's more than I can take

And I don't wanna face the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming
Now that your dream has come true

i'm madly in love with you

breath. its the single greatest and most forgotten, taken for granted thing we've ever received.

simple: inhale, exhale.

.:without the breath of life, one is but a shell:. all you have to do is breathe. without breath, you cant exist. you cant be.  Breath offers us LIFE. to live, you simply breathe. 

think about it: every breath you take, every single, solitary, breath offers you life. LIFE.

with every breath, you have a chance to change the world.

you can live as if life offered no consequences.

 love like you have nothing to lose.

its such an amazing, awe-inspiring thing. i mean, you're never even CONSCIOUS of your breathing. you just do it.  No matter what we do, or how complicated we make things, God made living so incredibly: simple.

just breathe.

do we ever even stop to take into account how valuable this is? to STOP. and thank our Creator for allowing us to live  our lives and love, serve,  and honor Him? take a minute. just sit, dwell in His presence.

breathe.

take a breath. take a deep, long, meaningful breath of LIFE-giving goodness. just remember every breath you breathe means something in this world; every breath you take is sacred.

so, have you? have you done it?  breathe. seriously...take a "breath out of your day" to dwell on existence...on your life.

just....  .:breathe:.

 

--This is the air i breathe. This is the air i breathe. Your  HOLY  presence, living in me. and i'm desperate for You. and I'm lost without You. --

 

so much for my happy ending

floating. its what i've been doing. drifting. nothing has penetrated inside my bubble.

i want to live for what i believe. LEAVE ME ALONE. i have such a deep and burning desire to live for my God, to be an example for you, i have such a longing to be close to Him. i need strength. in most senses i'm one of the strongest people i know. but not in all ways assuredly. i need a peace of mind that comes only with love. His. its all His. share with me please.

i want to live.

love.

be.

for You.

--I have set the LORD continually before me; because He is at my right hand, i will not be shaken. Therefore, my heart rejoices; my flesh will also dwell securely.  Psalm 16:8-9--

SICK.

SICK...shoot me now...i'm dead

someone turned on the faucet again...

i'm sick. AGAIN. BLAH!!! i hate it, hate it, HATE it!

thats ok though, because i'm the proud new owner of red highlights. i like them. i look hot....a vixen of sorts. anyways, i've noticed i dont update as often as i used to. i'll work on it. i just havent had a lot to say, or a lot of time to say it. EPWORTH is in two weeks! i'm excited, if you're not comming, then you should because all the cool people go. because well, if you go, you're cool. simple as PIE.

--Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. James 1:19--