you need to grow up. you do not need to greet me with a "hey, insert stupid childish cutdown here." stop trying to act cool, stop showing off in front of people, stop being an asshole to me in front of people and being normal and nice when we're alone. you dont hate meor you wouldnt call me randomly and try to come see me. so stop being a jerk.
moving on.
i'm glad i wont be missing ski trip. i just hope it all works out. it'll be stressful but hopefully worth it.
i never have to go to work agaiinnnnN! well, not true. i am sure before i die i will work another day. just not now, and just not this job. ha! i guess making some extra money was nice but working seasonal retail is absolute hell. geeeez.
mmm. my books. so many. i just want to snuggle with them. and read them, that too.
my head hurts, i'm not terribl excited about that. or that we have a small country's worth of trash to take out.
"it's a small country; rhode island could kick the crap out of it in a war, this is NOT a big place!"
i love that movie. its hysterical.
i'm ready for my new coat, shoes and books to arrive. ready, set, ARRIVE!
oh man my head hurts. bum.er.
i think i may go burn dvds to my ipod. because i cannn! i love it.
goodnightbye.
26.12.07
that should not have happened.
my christmas in pictures.
but in gold, not silver.
onion goggles...to wear while chopping onions so you dont cry
salad spinner. duh.
designed by art students--critbuns. you sit on it during long critiques so your tushy feels nice. because critiques are LOOOOOOONG.
gps. sweet.
------------>i dont really understand how the day could end so badly but it did and i'm really sorry. and i know sorry really doesnt mean anything, but i'm here. for whatever you need.
but in gold, not silver. onion goggles...to wear while chopping onions so you dont cry salad spinner. duh. designed by art students--critbuns. you sit on it during long critiques so your tushy feels nice. because critiques are LOOOOOOONG. gps. sweet.------------>i dont really understand how the day could end so badly but it did and i'm really sorry. and i know sorry really doesnt mean anything, but i'm here. for whatever you need.
23.12.07
i like this song a lot.
What you got if you ain't got love
The kind that you just want to give away
It's ok to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith
Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small
It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And then you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh, it sure makes everything else seem
So small
The kind that you just want to give away
It's ok to open up
Go ahead and let the light shine through
I know it's hard on a rainy day
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
But don't run out on your faith
Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small
It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
And then you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else
Oh, it sure makes everything else seem
So small
21.12.07
20.12.07
hmmmmm
Hot College Majors on AOL Search:
1. Major in government
2. Colleges with dance majors
3. Business forensics major
4. Songwriting major
5. Neuroscience major
6. English major
7. Broadcasting major in college
8. Biology major
9. Colleges with jazz music major
10. Colleges with commercial music major
interesting.
1. Major in government
2. Colleges with dance majors
3. Business forensics major
4. Songwriting major
5. Neuroscience major
6. English major
7. Broadcasting major in college
8. Biology major
9. Colleges with jazz music major
10. Colleges with commercial music major
interesting.
19.12.07
oh the joys of internet surfing...
what i learned today:
1. jamie lynne spears, 16 years of age, is prego. nice. good luck to you....
2. czech people hate santa claus. traditionally, jesus was the one who brought presents to kids, and when capitalism was nearing the borders of the czech republic.....santa came a blazin' in. resentment, anyone? i dont blame them honestly.
3. "silence of the lambs" is, apparently, the best crime thriller. according to moviefone.
4. you can purchase Oscer statues, [yes--oscEr...oscar is trademarked/copyrighted...whatever,] online and have them personalized. nifty, from 10 bucks to 100 if you want 24k gold. blliiiiiing!
5. you can purchase actual replicas of wands from every major character in the Harry Potter series. i wont lie--i want them all. thats right, i said it.
6. someone isnt feeling smart. neither am i.
7. that gabi wilson kicks butt. shes 10. and can belt out alicia keys songs that rival said artist's talent. go get em babe. watch her...
http://www.aolvideoblog.com/2007/12/05/move-over-alicia-keys/
8. that is all for now. i really should go to bed. since tomorrow will be the first day i;ll have to be up before 11am....in weeks. oh the joys of a seasonal job. only two more weeeeeeks!
1. jamie lynne spears, 16 years of age, is prego. nice. good luck to you....
2. czech people hate santa claus. traditionally, jesus was the one who brought presents to kids, and when capitalism was nearing the borders of the czech republic.....santa came a blazin' in. resentment, anyone? i dont blame them honestly.
3. "silence of the lambs" is, apparently, the best crime thriller. according to moviefone.
4. you can purchase Oscer statues, [yes--oscEr...oscar is trademarked/copyrighted...whatever,] online and have them personalized. nifty, from 10 bucks to 100 if you want 24k gold. blliiiiiing!
5. you can purchase actual replicas of wands from every major character in the Harry Potter series. i wont lie--i want them all. thats right, i said it.
6. someone isnt feeling smart. neither am i.
7. that gabi wilson kicks butt. shes 10. and can belt out alicia keys songs that rival said artist's talent. go get em babe. watch her...
http://www.aolvideoblog.com/2007/12/05/move-over-alicia-keys/
8. that is all for now. i really should go to bed. since tomorrow will be the first day i;ll have to be up before 11am....in weeks. oh the joys of a seasonal job. only two more weeeeeeks!
16.12.07
why did we have to listen to amy grant at 12:30 am.....whyyyyy
my feet. they used to happily transport me from place to place, were a means by which to get from point A to point B if you will.
now....they scream and wriggle and scrape me along, wailing in protest to m every movement. my feet. they do not love me anymore.
i might be angry with you, disappointed, confused, want to hate you, and everything else...but underneath everything i just miss you more than i ever thought possible. and feeling sad that i feel so alone in that. feeling so alone in general. so. alone.
now....they scream and wriggle and scrape me along, wailing in protest to m every movement. my feet. they do not love me anymore.
i might be angry with you, disappointed, confused, want to hate you, and everything else...but underneath everything i just miss you more than i ever thought possible. and feeling sad that i feel so alone in that. feeling so alone in general. so. alone.
14.12.07
i'm done. and you've made it clear thats alright.
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
----------------------->tear.my.heart.open.:.papa.roach
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
----------------------->tear.my.heart.open.:.papa.roach
8.12.07
fitting....
"do not ask a person why he is the way he is, ask for what he would change."
---------------->milton erickson
---------------->milton erickson
you make me sick
i dont even know what to say. besides the fact that you are a complete and total bastard. because really...that doesnt really do it. no--not quite.
this is ME. for christ's sake...i sat with you and held your hands while you were lowe than anyone....anyone i've ever seen in my life, i was there damnit. and me...who is basically your closest friend....i'm not important enough to you for you to GROW THE HELL UP and stop acting like an f-ing spoiled child. you dont give a shit about anyone. not a single person. and i dont understand. and you dont even care. you dont care. you dont care that you treat all you're "friends' like total crap, you dont care that you only deign to be the friend of others, people who aren't good enough for you to let in close enough to be yours. you dont care that you threw this relationship out the window because your so fucking apathetic it didnt even phase you that i'm OUT OF HERE.
i'm so sick of it.
so. damn. sick. of. being. the. throw. away.
neither one of you could see past your own immaturity, you're own unwillingness to face life and that it HURTS sometimes, that it isnt always easy, sometimes you have to fight for people that you love. nope. why should that matter to you guys? you have apathy and bitterness to keep you company. no matter that i try so hard, no matter that i want you to see me, appreciate who i am, love me. because who the hell cares? i'm not worth it. nope. it doesnt matter that i get hurt over and over by people who should love me, only because they are too stupid, stubborn, and SCARED SHITLESS of what feeling something actually means. because it's always. about. YOU.
you dont even care that you just lost me. and thats what hurts me. losing me isnt worth getting upset about. you selfish bastard.
it's your loss. but it's my pain.
this is ME. for christ's sake...i sat with you and held your hands while you were lowe than anyone....anyone i've ever seen in my life, i was there damnit. and me...who is basically your closest friend....i'm not important enough to you for you to GROW THE HELL UP and stop acting like an f-ing spoiled child. you dont give a shit about anyone. not a single person. and i dont understand. and you dont even care. you dont care. you dont care that you treat all you're "friends' like total crap, you dont care that you only deign to be the friend of others, people who aren't good enough for you to let in close enough to be yours. you dont care that you threw this relationship out the window because your so fucking apathetic it didnt even phase you that i'm OUT OF HERE.
i'm so sick of it.
so. damn. sick. of. being. the. throw. away.
neither one of you could see past your own immaturity, you're own unwillingness to face life and that it HURTS sometimes, that it isnt always easy, sometimes you have to fight for people that you love. nope. why should that matter to you guys? you have apathy and bitterness to keep you company. no matter that i try so hard, no matter that i want you to see me, appreciate who i am, love me. because who the hell cares? i'm not worth it. nope. it doesnt matter that i get hurt over and over by people who should love me, only because they are too stupid, stubborn, and SCARED SHITLESS of what feeling something actually means. because it's always. about. YOU.
you dont even care that you just lost me. and thats what hurts me. losing me isnt worth getting upset about. you selfish bastard.
it's your loss. but it's my pain.
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