oh lordy! this week has been awesome. beach every day except monday--and i got chocolate chip pancakes so that made up for it. the beach is amazing and it's been so fun. oh man. sorry for the lack of updates. soon, i promise. dont lose hope.
.:it was a beautiful day--dont let it get away:.
there is a possibility you don't know these TEN things about me:
1. i sing in the shower--loudly and well if you ask me...sometimes well haha
2. i recently took up oil painting
3. i love daisies
4. i like r&b music
5. i only use mechanical pencils and precise pens
6. i only take showers
7. i dont like wearing black
8. everything in my room is red, orange, pink or yellow
9. i only write in cursive
10. i love old, smelly books
9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
1. be completely yourself
2. have a sense of humor
3. be honest and be able to handle complete honesty
4. wear pastel oxfords
5. kiss my forehead
6. genuinely care for others and show it
7. respect me and my morals
8. play guitar or some other instrument/write me letters
9. love movies and have a wealth of useless trivial movie-related facts
8 THINGS I CARRY/WEAR EVERYDAY
1. "unmentionables"
2. cell phone
3. lotion
4. perfume
5. mascara
6. contacts/glasses
7. earrings
8. some form of clothing
7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME
1. slow drivers
2. conceit
3. complainers
4. pessimists
5. people who hate everyone around them
6. people who never ever have anything nice to say
7. selfishness
6 PLACES I'VE VISITED
1. new york, new york
2. san francisco, california
3. nassua, bahamas
4. pheonix city, alabama
5. new orleans, louisianna
6. key west, florida
5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. write a novel
2. skydive
3. sing at my own concert
4. fall in love
5. go to spain
4 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF
1. clowns
2. roaches
3. the dark
4. being alone for the rest of my life
3 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY
1. eat
2. think about the people i love
3. try to write or say something beautiful
2 THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO DO NOW
1. go to bed
2. sing on the phone
1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE NOW
1. joey
an original:.
a tension burning at the core, a heat long since extinguished
blooming like a poisonous vine, it chokes the life right out of me
twisting, curling, deceiving she tempts you with her wild eyes
a promise of secuirty wrapped 'round her finger
you couldnt see the hypocrisy in her lie
caught up in a world painted red with emotion
blinded by your own selfish pride you hide away in your abyss
the darkness stretches through the chords,
tangled in the depths of her imagination is where your refuge lies
i cant feel your touch, hear that voice, know you're there...
the burning fire deep inside has erupted
time is almost out
livid is not the word. i am past it--it has flown by me in a whirwind of frusteration and an explosion gray-tinted fears. terrified. i feel as if i am the most incredibly idiotic person to walk the earth. i can not physically grasp on to this. it has slipped from my fingertips much like a drowning man has slipped from the heights of solid ground.
all i want to to cry and scream and break something.
.:sometimes you just need a punching bag:.
Are you...
[ ] ugly.
[ x] pretty.
[] ok.
[x ] bored.
[] happy.
[ ] bilingual.
[x] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[ ] asian.
[] short.
[x ] tall.
[ ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[x] a virgin.
[x] lazy.
[] single.
[x ] taken.
[ ] looking.
[x] not looking.
[x]talking to someone.
[] IMing someone.
[x] scared to die.
[x] tired.
[ x] sleepy.
[x] annoyed.
[ ] hungry.
[ ] thirsty.
[x ] on the phone.
[ x] in your room.
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[x ] in your pjs.
[x] ticklish.
[ x] listening to music.
[ x] homophobic.
[ ] racist.
The last:
-person you hugged: my mommy
-person you called: patrick
-person who called you: patrick
-thing you touched: my phone
-book you read: Redeeming Love by Frances Rivers
-magazine you bought: vogue
-place you went to: the kitchen
-person who said ˜I love you": my daddy
-person who you chatted with: joey
-perfume/cologne you sprayed: very sexy for her by victoria's secret
-thing you ate: thin crust pepperoni pizza
-drink you drank: coke
-flower you picked: umm...azealea...no idea how to spell it
-movie you rented: walking tall
-letter u typed: l
-words you said: no
-person on your mind: mitch
-place where u slept: in senora's class
-animal you touched: macie or sophie
-time you cried: last week
10 random things u like (no particular order)
[10] thunderstorms
[9] poetry
[8] books
[7] sparkles
[6] silk
[5] the beach
[4] coconuts
[3] bright colors
[2] working out
[1] driving with the windows down
9 of your cLosesT friends (again no particular order)
[9] tara
[8] natalie
[7] mitch
[6] joey
[5] kelly
[4] caroline
[3] patrick
[2] catlin
[1] katie
8 things u DONT like (same)
[8] clowns
[7] cockroaches
[6] bad drivers
[5] being yelled at
[4] crying
[3] pork chops
[2] being sick
[1] rude people
7 places you would like to visit
[7] madrid
[6] barcelona
[5] venice
[4] tuscany
[3] florence
[2] hawaii
[1] africa
6 places where youve slept in before
[6] my bed
[5] in a tent
[4] in class
[3] at church
[2] in a hotel
[1] outside
5 of your fave books
[5] a walk to remember
[4] the notebook
[3] redeeming love
[2] the da vinci code
[1] harry potter
4 things you wanna do before you die
[4] write a book
[3] sky dive
[2] order a pizza (haha this one's sad)
[1] be fearless
3 people you wanna meet before you die
[3] nicholas sparks
[2] mandy moore
[1] bobbi brown
2 things that never fail to make you smile
[2] stephen
[1] compliments
the 1 person you will always love
[1] God
an original:.
your words pierce like a knife;
a cutting blade of contradiction.
twisting and turning, they bite at the flesh surrounding
all the pent up emotion she felt.
your heart is a fortress, the bridge comming down slowly
deceiving, taunting, misleading...
i'll never get inside.
today...well in a word, it stunk. it was full of poo--i wish i could sleep forever. will you wake me up when it's through? i dont even really want to go into why it was bad--i'm to lazy and i dont care to waste time relishing in the fact that it sucked. i have about ten years of homework to occupy my time more effectively.
i wish i could feel you sunlight on my face, i wish i could b r e a k away.
.:I see what you could become, I know that your doubts will be undone. And as time brings a change, there'll be no holding you back again. I heard you whisper gently, but it's only when you stand on your own that you'll be free. I hear you calling, we hear you calling. [Isolation wont be your protection] Dont turn away, dont turn away:.
"the calling"
man. things are crazy. truly, abstractly, chaotically strange.
[love mingles with hate in a sinful dance]
i have discovered The Great Gatsby is actually not terrible. i thought it would bore me, just like i thought every other outside novel i've read for english would bore me. they havent been rivetting, but i get through them and i dont die. they arent bad. two points for the classics
self confidence is on the rise which is always a plus. i want to see the Ring:2. i'm hoping it'll be so bad i wont be scared--this of course, is all invain; for i know i will be up for days following in dread of Sumara. oh well--adrenaline is good.
I love you Kimmie.
So, it's sad this doesn't suit you now
And me fresh out of rope
Please ignore the lisp, I never meant to sound like this
So take me and break me and make me [strong] like you
I'll be forever grateful to this and you
It's only you, beautiful
Or I don't want anyone
If I can choose it's only you
Fix me to a chain around your neck and wear me like a nickel
Even new wine served in old skins cheapens the taste
I shot the pilot, I'm begging you to fly this for me
I'm here for you to use, b r o k e n and bruised
Do you understand?
It's only you, beautiful
Or don't want anyone
If I can choose, it's only you
But how could I miscalculate... perfect eyes will have perfect aim
If I can choose, it's only you
"We're wrecking" and I'm dry like a drum
so fine I'll leave we're spent
take our time measured we slave for days
It's only you, beautiful
Or I don't want anyone
If I can choose
It's only you
But how could I miscalculate
perfect lies from a perfect dame
.:If I can choose... it's only you:.
i am way over prom. everyone makes into such a huge deal--plans and details. you cant just go and have fun anymore. unless something changes my mind or people stop being so anal about it i'm not even going to waste my time.
so i was washing my hands today, spacing out as usual, water running over and over my hands. cooling, cleansing, refreshing. do you ever stop to think about the things you take for granted? we have water--everyday, all the time, no questions asked. we are blessed witht the most natural resource in the world. water. have you ever taken a shower after a long work out, a long tan session outside, a hot day at the beach and felt gross? no, you don't. water refreshes and washes away all the dirt. it gets rids of fatigue--one drop at a time it renews your energy and mind. it purifies.
the rain helps things grow, provides playtime, washes your car for you...rain, WATER, is a beautiful thing. stop once in a while, and enjoy those trickles of purity.
.:Everyone has his burden, what counts is how you c a r r y it:.
an original:.
the endless ticking of the clock
it never seems to fade
the trickle of sand flows ceasingly
time passes and i dont even tip my hat
a photo taken yesterday, a picture on the wall
i see the changes that he made...
without a reminder i wouldnt have noticed at all
you've been so far gone, or have i not noticed you?
it seems a lifetime has passed, but, your touch remains
the ball is rolling, but time never runs out
spinning around in this world i've made
it never seems to change, but is never the same
i see a blur of color in her lovely open shade
don't forget you love me
an original:.
her glowing sense of self shines through your darkened world
it lights up like the heavens,
glimmers like a thousands sunsets set across a sparkling wave
she sees your indecision, as your attention fades away
sincerity pure as the light of the moon,
a sense of longing you reveal
the beats quicken and send you shivers
through the heart that you have sealed
a warm light evades all perception
melting away the doubt you sell
the awe you feel when she cocks a brow
is enough to make you melt
you know me and my blinded eyes
i see your efforts as inconvenience
i need your interruptions
you know me and my selfish heart
i see your kindness as always in my way
i need your arms to hold me
you who have loved so perfectly
how can you take this abuse from me?
teach me to know your love as love
you know me and my wounded soul
i see your blessings as manipulation
i need your prayers to heal me
you who have loved so perfectly
how can you take this abuse from me?
teach me to know your love as love
i dont know why i'm here. i dont know what i'm going to say. compulsion is a strong affliction.
i was talking with a friend today. he asked a simple enough question. "how are you?" and my response was, "mostly ok" then..the natural "what isnt ok" and i had to ponder a response. i think i let me mind take over my life at times--if that makes sense. i tend to over-analyze things, think out the simplest problems with mathematical accuracy--ironic since i hate math. i dont know, i just seem to worry over nothing. but it kind of hit me and stuck. i said talked about it and how i dont like thinking so much, and his response was, "You say it like its a bad thing" you're way of slamming me into reality never ceases to amaze me.
angel without wings?
love. i can barely stand the word any longer. it's always on the tip of my tongue. i seemed to be engulfed in love. i can't turn where it isnt around me. a blessing. but also, it is a curse. how can it be all around me, at all times, and i still cant recognize it in myself? how can one not know if they feel love if its all they ever see?
.:I could sing of Your love forever, Lord:.
today was such an amazing day. it was beautiful.
sunshine is my most favoritest thing ever. ever. driving home in the sunshine, laying out in the sunshine, eating fried chicken and biscuits, singing. drinking frappucinos and laughing...seeing white boys act black. its a beautiful thing. haha. but not a single bad thing happened today. i got a tan, i have confidence in myself for the first time in...maybe ever. thank you for that, you gave me a love greater than any human love i've known...a love for myself. i cant ever repay you for what you've given me.
i wish i could relive today over...thats how nice it was. it was one of the best days of my life. just simple. no stress, no worries, nothing to bring me down. i was in the clouds...and then, the clincher. everyone telling everyone else how wonderful they are. encouragement, even in three words, is such an amazingly powerful gift.
being told i'm inspiring, commited....things i dont use to descirbe myself...it was nice to hear. just hearing people tell me that i'm nice or that i'm funny or i have a nice voice brings a smile to my face and i want to thank everyone for your kind words. they mean more than you may realize.
.:i wish you could just get hit in the head or pinched. just have a physical, tangible sign that you're in love. trying to figure out if you are or not is just so damn hard:.
amazing thats all i can think of to describe this night. he was amazing. wonderful. such a powerful thing for me. it was, as jacque said, an "intimate" atmosphere...a holy, quiet place. though..he did crack several jokes and i about peed my pants laughing--he also said some profound things.
.:We, as Christians, are mostly defined by what we do not do--and that has to change:.
.:Comfort is an enemy, a numbess. The moments when you're most uncomfortable are the moments in which you are most alive. It's when you feel the most:.
i could sit there for hours and just watch him sing. i mean, you can feel his own passion, his own burning desire for God when you listen to him and see him perform. it's not even performing really, it's him worshiping God infront of a bunch of strangers, leading them to worship as well. To some affect, he said that when you ask God what He has done to help the world in times of trouble, God's reply would be, "I sent the world you." is that not a mind blowing concept? that God sent YOU, you, me, us to help solve the world's problems? that WE are the answer to the questions asked...i mean, it makes you think, "What have I done to make the world a better place? What have I done lately to show the world who I am, what I believe, and who I love with all my heart and soul?"
.:They tell you where you need to go, they tell you when you need to leave. They tell you what you need to know, tell you who you need to be. And i'm on fire when you're near me, I'm on fire when you speak, i'm on fire burning at these mysteries:.
--switchfoot
