and i'll make it through the rain

i just dont know if i have enough strength left to care. i said a while ago--several months infact, that i'm not quite sure true love exists. actually--i flat out said its a load of bull...and i believed it, mostly because i hadnt experienced it. ever. and i still havent. not the tingly, sweaty palms, makes you shake inside and out-has to be the right person-because no one else could ever make you want to scream and cry and laugh and play the way he does-no one could ever be him....no one could ever be this perfect....the way he makes you feel...the way he makes you fall in love everytime you think about him, much less when you are with him. no, i havent experienced that. i doubt most people have.

love. i have loved. but not that way. not even close.

so, i'm ready to say i think it could happen...to someone someday....i just have the most difficult time ever believing in it for myself. i think everyone on earth from jerks to snotty princess-type girls to your best friends all deserve that experience. everyone. but i'm not the dreamer type of girl. sure--it'd be cool to be famous or have lots of money or to be Oprah and give millions of dollars away to people who need it and just because you love making other people happy....but i mean that wont ever be me and i know it. reality is something hard to grasp and easy to lose control of for some...but a constant voice in my head.  i'm young and i know that kind of love doesnt ever happen to anyone my age unless your just dumb and cant tell the difference...but it seems like such a silly fantasy like notion. i could write for hours and form lovely lines of beautiful elegance about the eyes that make you warm all over, that wrap you in a comforting gaze and whenever you see the love swimming in those eyes you know you could never be happier or safer....i mean--its easy to make up. but actually feeling that way--it seems so far fetched. so...un realistic. you know? 

i mean you meet a hundred new people everyday and to think that you could meet your soulmate years before you realize who they truly are...its amazing to me.  i'm so wrapped up in my ping-pong like thoughts that i'm sure many of you dont even understand what i'm talking about anymore....i try not to confuse people but then again--this is me and its how my thoughts work....they pour of the spout of my mind into a steaming cup of....my life. served fresh daily.

so...if anyone follwed that...i'd like to know what they think. i mean i want think everyone dreams about that...but i mean can it really happen? 

 

--so keep pressing on steadfastly and you'll find what you need to prevent what you say i can make it through the rain, i can stand up once again on my own and i know that i'm strong enough to mend and everytime i feel afraid i'll hold tighter to my faith and i'll live one more day and i'll make it through the rain and when the wind blows as shodows grow close .:dont be afraid:. theres nothing you cant face and sure they tell you you'll never pull through dont hesitate stand tall and say i can make it through the rain and i can stand up once again on my own and i know that i'm strong enough to mend and everytime i feel afraid i'll hold tighter to my faith and i'll LIVE one more day and i'll make it through the rain--