you make me sick

i dont even know what to say. besides the fact that you are a complete and total bastard. because really...that doesnt really do it. no--not quite.

this is ME. for christ's sake...i sat with you and held your hands while you were lowe than anyone....anyone i've ever seen in my life, i was there damnit. and me...who is basically your closest friend....i'm not important enough to you for you to GROW THE HELL UP and stop acting like an f-ing spoiled child. you dont give a shit about anyone. not a single person. and i dont understand. and you dont even care. you dont care. you dont care that you treat all you're "friends' like total crap, you dont care that you only deign to be the friend of others, people who aren't good enough for you to let in close enough to be yours. you dont care that you threw this relationship out the window because your so fucking apathetic it didnt even phase you that i'm OUT OF HERE.

i'm so sick of it.

so. damn. sick. of. being. the. throw. away.

neither one of you could see past your own immaturity, you're own unwillingness to face life and that it HURTS sometimes, that it isnt always easy, sometimes you have to fight for people that you love. nope. why should that matter to you guys? you have apathy and bitterness to keep you company. no matter that i try so hard, no matter that i want you to see me, appreciate who i am, love me. because who the hell cares? i'm not worth it. nope. it doesnt matter that i get hurt over and over by people who should love me, only because they are too stupid, stubborn, and SCARED SHITLESS of what feeling something actually means. because it's always. about. YOU.

you dont even care that you just lost me. and thats what hurts me. losing me isnt worth getting upset about. you selfish bastard.

it's your loss. but it's my pain.