your site came up as "malicious". ironic? so very much.

i was feeling pretty bad about my eating even though nadine and i kick butt at the gym almost everyday now, we are awesome. but we dont always eat so.....well. but i was reading Glamour and it was talking about the more often you eat every day to better your metabolism [ok, not if you eat 1 cake 6 times a day, that doesnt count. small meals!] will increase, the more cardio you get the better, your resting metabolic rate will increase, caffeine gives you a slight boost, and i try to eat veggies and fruit a lot and drink a crapton of water at the gym so my body wont dehydrate. because let's face the ugly truth---i sweat like a guy. so extra water is like, a phenomenal idea.

ice cream tonight was probably a bad idea but it was so yummy. and lets be honest i work hard to stay in shape so i feel like its ok to do that every once in a while, i try to limit myself. i'm just really hard on myself, i still eat like i always do and i eat a lot sometimes, i just end up feeling kind of guilty at times. but then i just shrug and put on my running shoes. it makes me feel realy good about myself, and i think anyone who has bad self esteem should go run or work out because you feel so good afterwards even if you run for one minute where you couldnt do that before.

i see these people in the gym sometimes and my initial instinct isnt always nice but they're there working their butts off and being healthy and it makes me really happy to see. it doesnt matter what you do, how much weight you lift, or how long you can go on the elliptical....if you're doing it at all props. unless you're sitting in the chairs off to the side staring at people--doesnt count--get out.


just having dinner with you on the floor makes all this crazy school business worth while. or driving to the grocery store at 2 am because we aren't tired and there's nothing to do. or wanting to punch you in the fae when you tickle me so long i cant breathe. the way you look at me is unlike anything. it may have taken me a long time to get here, but it feels like home and i can't imagine my life without you in it.