ARGHHH!

ARGGHHHH! i am so angry. angry. ANGRY. ANGRY!!  i havent had internet in two days and have needed it to check email for a few things, the stupid idiotic computer wasnt working worth jack CRAP today, and i've successfully been in the worst mood of my life for the L O N G E S T time frame ever. i'm sick of it; i'm bored with my life, every single solitary aspect of my dumb stupid life. i dont even know why. i mean there's not even anything particulalry wrong with it other than daily inconviniences..i just hate it. i'm bored with the people in my life, the routine i have, the surroundings, the smells, the having to pee in the roach-infested bathroom outside....all of it. i'm not happy with myself at all...i have less self esteem than what i want for myself, and i cant get past critiqueing everything about myself, my every feature, aspect of my character....whatever. i hear myself say rude things and immediately regret it but its like sometimes i cant even help it. i wish i could just be satisfied with who i am, accept myself, and learn how to snap out of my self-inflicted drearyness. i just wish there was somethingi could do to make myself happier right now--i keep thinking this is some weird week phase i'm going through, that i'll snap out of it...but its been two weeks...and i havent. i just dont know what to do.

--I cry out to the Lord, I plead for the Lord's mercy. I pour out my complaints before Him and tell Him all my troubles. For I am overwhelmed and you alone know the way I should turn. Wherever I go, my enimies have set traps for me. I look for someone to come and help me, but no one gives me a passing thought! Then I pray to You O Lord. I say, "You are my place for refuge. You are all I really want in life. Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me. Bring me out of prison so I can thank you. The godly will crowd around me, for you treat me kindly.
--Psalm 142--