the flying spaghetti monster. riiiiiiighhht.

THE 8 "I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS" OF "PASTAFARIANISM:

1. I'd really rather you didn't Act Like sanctimonious. holier-than-thou asses when describing my noodley goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's ok. Really, I'm not that Vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, evicerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices and purifty is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, dress, talk, or well, just play nice, ok? Oh, and get this in your thick heads: woman = person, man = person. samey-samey. one is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and i'm sorry, but i gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuschia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal AND mental maturity. as for anyone who might object, i think the expression is go F yourself, unless they find that offensive, in which case they can turn off the tv or once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigtoed, misogynist, hateful ideas of other on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the B****.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion dollar churches,/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodley goodness when the money could be better spent [take your pick:]
-ending poverty
-curing diseases
-living in peace, loving with passion, ad lowering the cost of cable.
---i might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being but i enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people i talk to you. Yo're not that interesting. get over yourself. and i told you to love your fellow man. cant you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are um, into THAT sort of stuff. [i.e. gross sexual stuff i censored out.]

RAmen.





--------------> and all i have to say is that i think its really flippin stupid and ridiculous to give a persuasive speech on why people should join pastafarianism as if it were this hysterical funny thing. equating it to a religion and equating some made up noodle thing to Christ. it really pissed me off. i dont know. i thought it was dumb and i pretty much wanted to slap the person who gave it. grow up...you arent cute or funny...just pretty obnoxious. the end.