i will possess your heart.

it's already been over a week since we got back. holy bejeezus.

haha minus the initial awkwardness, opening the door and seeing you standing there was like maaaagiccccccc. i missed you so much i was dying. knowing you are 5 minutes away is a phenomenal feeling. even when i'm really irritated with you, it doesnt matter because at least i can be mad at you to your face and when i get unmad we can hug and its ok. i just wish there was more.....i dont know the word/phrase i want to use, i just wish i knew what was really going on. because i dont see why we're playing this silly little game, or tiptoeing around what we are. stupid. its stupid and i hate it but i cant say anything much about it.

it was an insane week. it was just like a hurricane, first day stressing, then the lovely infection, then trying not to die from the pain, and doing homework and switching classes and natalie and bryan coming and lots of stuff. the weekend was really amazing, you guys always make everything so funn i love it!

i need to go to the gym oh my god. i've only run twice, and havent been to the gym at all and i feel grossssssssss. and made cupcakes and cookies. but they were so yummmyyyyy.

i kind of hate that i cant sing in the shower here. well--i could. but that would be embarrassing since everyone in savannah could hear me.



it keeps popping up in my mind, its stupid not to listen to the music i like but some of it makes me think about you and i dont like that. being back here where we spent so much time is weird. i keep thinking about you and what happened and why it happened and why we havent spoken. what you think, what you feel about it, if you care, if you're ok, if you're still struggling, how you are....why it didnt seem to bother you that we broke up. i dunno. i just cant wrap my mind around it. i want to call sometimes just so i can say weve spoken becuase it feels so weird. and it was weird seeing you twice while i was home even though you never saw me. it stung.

i hate unfinished edges. i want to stitch this up.