rainy day carry me away

i'm really not looking forward to try outs.  its not so much people watching me--i mean hello i sing in front of people all the time. its the whole them judging you thing. i dunno--its intimidating.  and i really dont want to do it, but i want to sing...and i want a solo.  i'm afraid i wnt get one. that sounds so silly when i think about it, but i mean there's only FOUR. and i dunno--there are a lot of people i'm sure that will be trying out...i dont like competeing with me voice like that...i hate judges.

i was driving down the backroads of San Jose today after school...you know, at miramar where it splits into hendricks? yeah--that back road with all the cute houses that makes you feel like you're in leave it to beaver.  i love it back there, i drive that way almost everyday now to look at my dream house.  two story, yellow, red door...its so cute. i adore it. anyways, it was all drizzly and wet outside and i'm back there with all the cute houses and theres one of those foot-mail men tat just walk.  and he had on his poncho and white hat...it was like a movie. it was so cute...i mean honestly how many walking mail men to we see nowadays? we're all so cuaght up in the hustle-and-bustle that we dont stop to take a walk in the rain. i just found it really refreshing.

i love drizzly wet days...thunderstorms too.  its a powerful feeling--reminds you Who's in control. i feel safe in a storm, i guess thats weird to people who are afraid of them...but its like God made it, he wont let anything happen to you.

.:And you can't fight the tears that ain't commin, or the moment of truth in your lies.  When everything feels like the movies, yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive. And i dont want the world to see me, cuz i dont think that they'd understand. when everything's made to be broken, i just want you to know who i am:.