20.10.05

and suddenly the weight was lifted off her chest, and she took her first free breath with gratitude

.:this is the start of something good, dont you agree? i havent felt like this in so many moons--you know what i mean? so, if you want to be with me, you'll have to follow through with every word you say. and i, all i really want is for you to stick around, i'll see you everyday...but you have to follow through:.

i was sure i was right before--then i had to live for the next 4 days. it was not a "right" feeling. just a lonely, sad, miserable gut feeling that i made a mistake; not something new and different to me.  i'm not myself alone. i'm not how i want to be when i dont have you around--i dont laugh, i dont smile, i dont feel good about myself...i feel like that loser no one wants to be around. i dont particuarly enjoy that...go figure.  you make me happy.  you make me feel special, because i know i am to you--thats all that really matters to me.  no one looks at me the way you do...and no one makes me giggle like a kid all the way home when i see you either. only you. i dont want that to change, and i'm glad it wont. basically--i feel like a pretty hot plate of you know what when i'm with you because i know you adore me, and that makes me adore you more than ever.

[we're better together]

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