this will probably end up getting deleted, and if not--it probably should have been

i have begun about 4 entires over the past few days; none have survived. i have no motivation to complete anything. not to finish my self portrait, not to finish cleaning up my room, not to finish this entry. i just dont care. that isnt good.

i just got a massive dose of lotion in my eye-----> no, that doesnt sound painful, but it is. it's deceiving in all its silkiness. dumb lotion. now i have to squint one-eyed at the screen whilst i type three-fingeredly whilst i tap all other keys with my two, count them two, casts. and you wonder why i dont want to finish this. it sounds elementary in its capabilities, does it not?

i just realized i used several large and rarely spoken words in that paragraph. i love using words you dont hear often, or words that just sound nice. superscilious, stoic <------my personal favorite, flabbergasted, gellatinous, perspicacity, quixotic, modulate, salacious, whisp, tenacious. words like that. i love words. and i sound like a super nerd so i'm going to discontinue this rant.

all this randomocity is hurting my brain. i must sound like lewis caroll after an opium trip. i'm leaving now, goodbye to all my lovelies. pray i get some sanity back.