for always and forever babe--i'll always be with you

i havent had a minute to sit down in the last few days. well--that's a slight exagerration. i have--just not one when i thought about my lovely little journal, all old and waiting to be renwed.

i need to start working out again. i wont even say i feel fat because 300 of you will yell at me and tell me i'm not--which is true. but, dont you ever just feel fat? like--you feel gross and jiggly.  haha i think we all know how jiggly my arms are haha. they can be beastly...every once in a while. i went running today, maybe that'll jump start my work-out routine.

i cant decide if i'm content. is that weird? certain aspects of my life are and always will be fine. but some things only make me happy in the moment--if that makes sense. i dont know how to explain it.

i feel like i have something to get out...like i have this emotion deep down inside of me thats bubbling to the surface. it hasnt reached the top yet. be on the lookout for something lyrical.  i haven't written anything lyrical in a few days. imagine that.

i'm not sure if i can even begin to describe my burning love for gavin degraw. we're on a first-name basis, gavin and i, so its weird sayign his whole name. haha i sound like some 13 year old stalker. close... ; ). no--but i just adore his music. its so relaxing--nothing crazy. it just makes me happy inside. anyone who hasnt experienced him yet needs to. i can give you 100 reasons. do you ever find music that fits your mood? gavin is all around excellent.

i was talking with a friend today..and i realized somehting about myself. with the exception of this journal...i dont really talk about myself a whole lot to other people. natalie and mitch and bryan wont believe this when they read it--haha...i guess i kind of depend on them to pour my dramatic details on, but with people in general i just dont like to talk about my life. i guess a lot of it is when i'm talking with a friend about a problem they might be having, i dont like to talk about mine...i guess i feel like complaining about my life isnt going to help anyone else out--so i keep quiet and try to give advice rather than share similar experiences. hm. this is all going on one conversation though. most people could read this and be like--shes on drugs--she never shuts up about herself. who knows. writing is my main outlet. not people.

.:do be strong, dont be silent, too educated, too strong, too successful, to stubborn, and too hard to control:.