i just wanna wake up.

i've decided something; now, whether i keep with it or not is a matter of debate, but i would like to think i'll be able to stick with it for the most part.

i want to do things to make me happy. i'm sick of doing everything for everyone else. i enjoy making people happy and i will always be that way----------->what i mean is i want to do things for myself too. i dont want to ONLY cater to everyone, because i deserve better. if i want ice cream after i eat an entire meal that was unhalthy, i will. i want it, so i;m going to do it. [i'm not saying i'm going to eat my way into obesitiy, but i'm not going to not let myself have certain things because i think i'll get fat some day in the future. as long as i dont get 70 lbs overweight and not suffocating in my own cholesterol, i'll eat what i damn well please.] if i want to go to a concert, then i will. if i want to go sky diving for my birthday, which i most definitely DO, then i will.

i dont want to get to 40 and realize i lived my whole life waiting for it to start, waiting for the "right time" to do this or that. i'm not saying i'll be completely carefree and not give a damn what happens tomorrow, but if an opportunity to do something good for myself presents itself, i dont want to let it slip by. i dont want to regret the way i live later on. it isnt worth it. what if i never get another chance to sky dive? gotta jump off that plane now!

---------->anyway, i just thought i'd share. this song by mae i'm listening to is about waking up with another person, but hearing him say "i just wanna wake up" over and over with such feeling, i totally forget what the song is supposed to be about and focus on what i hear. i dot want to walk through life alseep, not really seeing whats ahead of me.

.:i just wanna wake up:.