somewhere inbetween

i suddenly feel so alone. like a part of me has been misplaced. and i dont know where to look. i'm so tired of feeling alone--even in crowds i can sometimes feel invisible.
i dont always feel alone, but it happens often enough to irritate me.

i miss the closeness. i want the closeness. and i dont have any closeness. and there isn't anyone who can give it to me for whatever reason. i almost feel like i'm standing on the edge of something, i'm ready to leap off and dive into this great, new adventure...only the person who is supposed to catch and go with me never showed up. so i'm stuck, standing, staring out at what i could have, only to have to wait for the impromptu to arrive.

............i hate when people are late.