it was a relatively good day. and yesterday was good. and this weekend was good. i was happy. it was so odd--i felt the way i used to feel. there wasnt this nagging in my chest. until i turned around and saw you walk by...then i felt the heat spread all over my face and the burn seep into my eyes--the knot form in my throat, my heart jump. and it was a good day, we were the same as we used to be for once; we talked to each other...you saw me, you listened to me and heard what i said. that's all i ever wanted. to talk. i just want to be near you. and things were normal. and then my face got hot again and i wanted to hide; i was embarassed. i was humiliated in front of people. and then i had to go...and something snapped. and as i walked away i felt something drag behind me...that nagging had come back--i couldnt stop the heat, dry my eyes, clear my throat. i just drove away and didnt look back, but i felt "back" comming to me. that hurt. i felt it follow behind me in the whisps of air that trailed after me.
but God...i'm so thankful i got two days of normalcy back. it gave me some peace. even if it goes away again, i'll still cry--but i'll be glad it came back at all.
happy singles awareness day...i miss my valentine
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