be yourself. [an original is always worth more than a copy]

     i'm actually taking an editor's note to put in the journal, not vice versa--a first. i thought it poignant.

     It’s been an interesting few months. The last five months seem like they’ve
taken my whole life to live through. I think gradually I’ve drawn closer to a feeling
of acceptance and peace with myself—mind you I said closer, not at. I still
have my issues as we all do, but through everything the last 2 years have brought
in and out of my life, I think I’ve truly begun to realize how important this time
is. The things that don't matter in your life seem to get the most attention on a
daily basis—this is what I have noticed. The things that need to be addressed are
normally pushed aside, forgotten, procrastinated away because we’re either too
lazy to confront them or too afraid. This is all my opinion of course, but as a
general rule I think it’s a fairly accurate idea.
     High school is basically a big clone fest. Everyone wants to be loved and
accepted—I don't care how you act or what you say, no one wants to be “Johnny
I have no friends.” we need that love and acceptance to make ourselves feel valuable;
as if someone loving you makes you worth something. As if your value as a
person rests in another person’s judgments. You don't need other people to
complete you—only people that compliment you, that make you happy. [an aside: i just noticed i forgot to take this next sentence out--Oops.] ----->That
isn't healthy. Most teenagers don't have great self-esteem. I don't—I’m not going
to pretend like I love myself when I don't. I’ve never really believed I had value
ever, mostly because of the people who told me I didn't. When people make you
feel worthless enough, you begin to believe it’s true no matter how smart you are.
I know in reality I am loved by people. I know I’m not a worthless piece of junk
God ruined and was too lazy to fix. He made me the way I am because that’s
exactly how He wanted me. It’s nearly impossible to remember this at times, but
it’s so important.
     Being who you are is such a beautiful thing. You being you is beautiful—
do you get that? You are beautiful. Gorgeous. Amazing. You are, to God and to
me and to everyone. You are precious. You aren't worthless. And I love you very
much, I love you more than I can ever explain in words. I thank God for you
everyday, all of you, no matter what you may think. I love you. Don't make my
mistakes. Don't fool yourself into believing you aren’t precious and outstanding.
Don't try to hide the real you behind fads, attitude, or layers of clothes. Be the
amazingly beautiful person God made you everyday. Don't smile when you
want to cry. Don't laugh at jokes that aren't funny. Don't try to impress people
by being someone you aren't, doing something you know is wrong, or acting the
way you think you should. No matter what you feel or who you are, be true to
that and be honest with yourself. Allowing people to see the real you is scary because
it makes you vulnerable, but why would you want people to love the someone
you’re pretending to be—not the someone you are. I love you, and I’ll be here
where I’ve always been: right by your side.