"i dont know where you went when you left me but, it says here in the water you must be gone by now. i can tell somehow. one hand on the trigger of the telephone--wonderin when the call comes where you say its alright, you got your heart right."
well, you did leave. and i've stopped waiting by the phone for you to call me. i'm not stupid, and i'm flirting with the edge of reality. i know you wont be calling. you are over me. but i still pray you'll see what a mistake you made--that you'll realize how much i always did, always have, always will care. how much i see in you--all the good that you are and do; you inspire me to be better.
"i called because i just need to feel you on the line--dont hang up this time. and i know it was me who called it "over" but i still wish you'd fought me til your dyin day: dont let me get away. just cant wait to figure out whats wrong with me so i can say this is the way i used to be. oh for the sadness--split screen sadness. we share the sadness--that split screen sadness."
i didnt call it over. you did. and it tore me to pieces. pieces so small i'll never find them all--i'll never be whole again. i'll be damn close, but never there. four months after the fact and i'm here. about five steps ahead of where i was. i'm not happy with that progress. i want to be over you. i dont want to forget you--never. i love you, and you have been the most special person to enter my life, i never want to forget you or what you gave me: what you still bring to me when i look at you and see the person you are and the man you're going to be. i never want that sense of pride in you or that warmth i feel remembering you to go away. but i want the hurt to leave. i want it erased. i want to forget the pain and the hurt--the rejection, the dperession, the confusion, anger, lonliness...i could live the rest of my life without it and never miss it once. i just want to look at you and not want you back. i want to make you smile and not wish that i could hug you, tell you i love you still, kiss you...i wish i could be with you and be content just to be near you. i'm thankful for every minute i'm near you but i'd be a liar if i said i didnt want you back--that i didnt want you to love me again. i miss it everyday. i miss your warmth, your presence in my life every second. i think about it about...every other minute of my life. i love you and i wish you knew why. why i love you and why i'm so proud of you.
"So maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch 'til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right"
1 comment:
why don't you just put "Tara" as your title ???? :)
Post a Comment