part 2

ok up next...praise band. oh yay. yes lets see if we can find one more thing to stress ourselves out over alright? because when bryan "asked" us if we want to play epworth and some people didnt...ok yeah when he asks you and you dont want to you dont say..sure whatever...you say hey bryan i'm not really interested....hello? if you say yes, even if you arent enthused or interested at all and its apparent...hes going to take it as a yes. so when he tells us later that we are infact playing at epworth, dont go postal and say he never asked when he did, you just didnt have the balls to stand up and say no. i commend you for talking it out with him--i really do. but next time, just say something...you stress yourself out more than anyone or anything else.

i dont even know exactly what all of it even is anymore--but i'm just angry at the world all of a sudden and i hate it, it just randomly came about one day and i want it to go away. this is not me and i am a bitch normally--but i'm a bitch that people can live with...not this insane psychopathic twisted freak i have become...i want to be me again

Lord,

     I cant do this alone. I need you; I need you to help me. I'm lost Lord. I've fallen into darkness that i cantfind my way out of, I've fallen into the abyss. Thi isnt me, I dont hate people or things, I want to be made whole again. I scream inside and it's as if no one can hear me. I dont know what happened, i was so happy. Lord please, guide me in faith and love, i need you now. I love you. i dont want to be this way, i want to be pure again.