argh

I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
when i figure it out

but I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
and you are another mystery i am missing

It takes so much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

Lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down

wake me, I want to see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

this song is so relevant to me right about now, because i fell like i truly am only half living....my life goes by me in a haze of color and sound and i feel as if i've no control. me being out of is bad because then i fall apart. letting someone in makes me vulnerable and then you get hurt. like i cant depend on anyone because i am so scared of being used or whatnot....this journal was SO much better the first round before it deleted itself, but i'm so tired i cant reproduce it.....i love you all and dont hesitate to comment